A Hard Break-up
Anyone who has experienced a “true” body transformation can tell you that they become somewhat of a different person than they were before. Not only do they move more, exercise consistently, and eat supportively, they also think differently, act differently, have a different attitude, and surround themselves with different people. How and whom they spend their time with has changed. Priorities and values have shifted. Deep down, they are still the same person; however, their self-identity and external lifestyle choices change.
Essentially, who you are is your self-identity, the way you look at yourself, and your relationship to the world. Understanding this allows you to examine who you are and, more importantly, create who you want to become. Self-identity is made up of self-assessments, such as personality attributes, knowledge of one’s skills and abilities, one’s occupation and hobbies, and awareness of one’s physical attributes. For example, “I am lazy” is a self-assessment.
Think for a moment about what your current self-identity consists of.
What Is Holding You Back?
Have you ever taken the time to think about what may be holding you back from the transformation you desire? Is it the self-identity that you currently relate to?
Could it be fear of creating a new self-identity for yourself that those around you may not accept? What could change for the better if you created a self-identity that was consistent with your goals?
What might happen if you are no longer X? (X could be the party girl or the person who never says No. X could simply be the overweight person among your friends and/or family).
It’s scary to think about these things. Change is scary, and it can bring up a lot of unpleasant emotions, BUT it can also be a time of individual growth. If our desire is strong enough to make the changes needed to become the best version of ourselves that we can be, it’s time to “let go” and move away from the person we currently identify ourselves with or have in the past.
Write a Letter to Your Old Self
This is a great exercise in recognizing where you have been and where you are currently. Remember the good stuff and show compassion, but understand it’s time to move forward. Tell the Old Self how much you love the New, Wiser Self.
It is a way for you to provide yourself closure and step into your new way of living. Often, we are moving so fast through life that there is little or no time for reflection. Taking time to reflect is important in continuing to move forward in our journeys.
Letter to My Old Self
Dear Old Self,
Boy, did we have some good times and create memories that I will never forget! We ate a lot of comfort foods, watched a lot of reality TV, and stayed up way too late.
We overindulged and over consumed and not in the healthy way that New Self and I do now with a relaxing yoga class or a trip to the farmers market to pick up lots of fresh locally grown vegetables and fruit.
You have taught me a lot, and we survived some pretty rough times together, but in the past few years, we have grown apart. It’s time for me to move on.
Some things you taught me that New Self and I are still working on are: saying NO, creating boundaries, asking for what I need, treating my body with respect, prioritizing self-care, and loving myself and my body just as they are.
It’s not you; it’s me—very cliché, I know. But I am different now and I want to move forward living a life that is consistent with my goals, desires, and the person I want to be.
I wouldn’t be the person I am today without you, and for that, I am grateful of our time together. But you made me realize I want a different type of life.
New Self and I are very happy now, and I have no desire to revert back to your thought patterns, behaviors, and attitudes. They are no longer fitting or serving of me.
I will cherish and carry with me the parts of you that are congruent with my New Self and leave the rest of you behind.